Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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