he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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