dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
