What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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