Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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