To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
