whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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