Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
