oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
