plz talk dirty to me
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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