Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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