counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
