Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
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I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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