If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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