You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
