Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
