You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
