Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
