I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
