Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
