Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
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the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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