Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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