We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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