the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
