my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
