I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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