oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
