i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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