i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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