I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
