Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
