I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
