U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
honey bunches of taint.
why do cheetos always look like penises
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
