And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
