Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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