I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
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Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it