Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize