you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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