I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
