Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
