I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
