and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize