the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
