Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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