it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
