based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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