If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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