You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i dont even know how to be here
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Someone signed my nipple.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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