i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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