She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Randomize
