I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
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i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
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My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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