Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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