SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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