Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize