Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
