its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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