I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
