i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My ass is underappreciated
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
