There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
